Never thought I would be here... another weight post!

I never thought that I would be in the position that I am in today. I have goals, I have motivation, I have time, and I love working out. So, if I have all of these things why has it been so hard to keep up with loosing weight.

I never thought I would hit so many milestones in one month to turn around and undo what I accomplished. To hit my goal of being under 200 lbs just to gain it back. I have always heard of people loosing a ton of weight just to gain it all back- I always thought- how does a person do that, work so hard and then let it all go to waste. I understand it now. I know how easy it is to make a few days of bad choices, not work out for a couple of days, and to say, "I'll start over tomorrow". I totally get it. I actually remember when I hit my highest moment- it was in May of this year when I did my first race, was 199lbs, and I was working out 6 days a week. It felt great, I looked great, and I didn't mind that it was just a way of life for me.

Then I let my guard down. We had a relaxing awesome summer and I just didn't want to work on losing weight- I wanted to be lazy and enjoy my family. That is what I did. I look back on my summer and I wouldn't change anything about it except for my eating habits. There was no reason to resort back to unhealthy eating just because I wanted to enjoy my evenings at the pool vs. at the gym.

Then this fall came around... I told myself, it is time to get back on track. Get the rest of this weight off so I can then maintain. I tried. I failed. At this point, I lost motivation, I didn't want to work out, and I filled my time with other things. So easy to do... and I did it. I did the one thing I promised myself I wouldn't ever do and that was to stop caring. The last two months I told myself it was okay to be a size 24 again, it was okay to eat whatever I wanted, and it was okay to be fat and fail. I just didn't care!

The week that Dustin and I went to our concert was a huge eye opener. While we were shopping, Dustin took the above picture of me. When I came home and saw this picture- I could see how much fuller my face looked, how untoned my stomach area is, and I remember how tight my new shirt felt. This was my "Ahhh crap" moment. This was one of my lowest moments ever.

Today is a new day, God's mercies are new each morning. While I know my weight will always be a trial for me, I need to keep going. I need to get back to where I feel good about myself again. Today I weighed in, I am at 212.4. That number is humbling. It's hard to type and hard to read. But I feel like if I am honest with my friends about my trials of weight loss that something will come from my adventure. It isn't about just the number on the scale- I know this. It is about feeling good and living healthier for my family. It is also about reaching out to others- being accountable, and knowing that loosing weight is do able. I will always have bad days, weeks, or months however I hope and pray I never stop caring like I did. I hope I will always want to be healthier for my husband, my children and myself. I do care. I do have goals, time, and motivation to make it happen.

Praying for a better weight-loss update next time around... seems like a lot of the same ol' words lately! I just never thought I would be here!

One more day

We have one more day on our Fall/Thankfulness theme. I am so ready to move on. I spent yesterday prepping our games and lessons for December and I am excited.

This week we packed up our fall lacing cards/sorting objects and got out the Christmas and winter ones.

We put up our orange, black, and brown color puzzles and brought out red and green.

Switched out our library and have fun, festive Christmas stories to read.

Wrapping up our fall crafts this week...

Yesterday we made scarecrows... that weren't very scary.

More harvest fun... bubble wrap painting.

One more day and we are switching into Christmas mode!

Last step...

Decorating the tree!

Saturday night we dug out the kids' ornament boxes. Our tree is simple, each child has an ornament from each year since they have been born. I still have my box of 30+ ornaments and to this day buy a dated bulb to keep the tradition going. Last year was the first year I didn't put all my childhood bulbs up. It's about our family now and their bulbs. It means a lot to me to see just in 10 years how each child has changed and how their interests grow.

Kadyn loved getting the ornaments up.

Dad and Kenni; she really got into it this year. When the pine needles would poke her she'd say, "ouchie, ouchie".

My oldest Peanut, it's amazes me how big she is getting. It seems like yesterday we were still in our two bedroom apartment celebrating her first Christmas! She was only a month old and my brother was meeting her for the first time.

Mia only had three ornaments to hang so she kept stealing bulbs from her sisters to hang. Or she would take them off the tree and rehang them!

Putting on the angel... Our little angel comes from Dustin's Mema.

Our little tree decorating crew!

Oh! Christmas Tree...

Another Fluke tradition is getting a tree from the Christmas Tree Farm. For eleven years, we have had a real tree per Dustin's request. He loves it. We both grew up with fake trees and I guess because of that he is set on getting a real tree. Our kids know no other-

Our crew at the tree farm... it was so windy.

The peanuts loved running around.

Looking around for the perfect tree...

We loved this one... it reminded us of Christmas Vacation.

This is our tree for this year...

Racing back...

My little cheeseball- she had lots of questions about the tree, cutting it down, and bringing it back to our house.

Heading home...

On the way back we stopped at Reese's Fruit Farm and had apple cider shushes and popcorn. Trip Successful!

Christmas Tour

I will be the first to admit, last year I was the Christmas Grump. I didn't want to get a tree, decorate, or do lights. I really am not sure why I was just in a crazy grumpy place. Thank goodness I seem to be in a much better place this season. I took today to get out our inside decorations and get them up. They are simple, non traditional, bright and cheery! I love how it looks. Today was the decor- tomorrow we put the tree up.

As you walk up the stairs, you see the "fake" tree. Dustin would never allow us to have a fake tree as our family tree- he is kinda a tree snob. But, I wanted a "tree theme" so we will have 2 tress up this year. We made the wreath above it too- I bought garland at Hobby Lobby at 50% off but didn't end up using it so we wrapped it and hung it. It looks so bright and cheery... LOVE IT.

As you walk into our split level home, you will see this. My masterpiece from Pinterest. I have bulbs left over from last year. I made it using a wire hanger and bought the bow-again 50% off from HL. I am over the moon excited how it turned out.

Our entry way... lights, garland, wreath, and stockings. We do have a fireplace downstairs but I like hanging them here to show. We are missing the "N". While D was hanging lights he dropped it. The kids are so excited to see the stockings come out.

My new addition this year was the cone trees. I love how they complete the look. This display is on top of the TV stand.

More bright trees...

On top of the toy cubbies... We are ready for the holidays!

Santa baby!!!

This years Santa pictures crack me up... it is a Dorsett-Fluke tradition to get a picture with Santa each year- even in highschool, I remmeber dragging Dustin out to the mall to get a picture taken with Santa. To this day, we have one for every year.

This year was tough- Gaby refused to smile. She sooo did not want to talk to Santa or get a picture taken. I threaten and almost had to ground her just to get these. This year Gaby has brought up a lot of questions about Santa. Even though we celebrate Christmas for Jesus, it makes me just a little sad that she is questioning such a huge childhood tradition. She knows and understands that this is not the real Santa, but I think she still believes there may be one "real" one. I am almost too scared to ask her-

Anyway, back to the pictures...

Mia and Kadyn did fine with Santa- these two are my cheese balls. Kendal did fine as long as she stood next to him. Then Gaby just ... well... didn't do much of anything! :)

One on one with Santa... Mia was in it for the cookies. After the picture, Santa gave each peanut a yummy frosted cookie.

Kadyn is a natural...

Then there was Kendal... she wanted off his lap and wanted her cookie. I love these, it makes my laugh every time I see them.

Gaby starting to warm up a little...

Then Dustin and I...

Happy Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving Day we gathered up and had dinner at our place. We had my mom, dad, grandma, here along with Dustin's mom, step dad, sister, her boyfriend, and his family. It was a tight fit but we made it happen. We transformed our living room into a dinning area. I love decorating- we have had the same table setting for a few years now so each year I try to make it look different. I was happy with this years look.

I made little turkey's out of cookies, candy corn, and chocolate covered cherries. I made little candy corn candles using all supplies from the Dollar Tree. I even picked up the mini sparkling juice and wine glasses there too- It is my favorite place to shop.

Dustin's job is the turkey. The day before was spent smoking one turkey and the day of he fixed the "normal" turkey. He loves doing this... really, he does!

We get a little silly in the kitchen. Gaby and I peeled and cut up 10 lbs of potatoes.

My grandma was able to make the trip from KC with my dad. I am always happy to see her. And of course I am not bitter at all that she remembers Dustin and everything about him but not me and the girls. She has always had a special place in her heart for Dustin and it still shows.

All the food in our small kitchen...

All of our guests and family...

And at the end of the night... we are still smiling!!!

Thanksgiving at daycare

A special guest came to read to the peanuts today. We had a fun time as we read "Llama, Llama mad at momma".

I had a helper today. She ate the peanut butter cups as I was making the pilgrim hats for our table settings... who can say "no" to that face???

We also made turkey feet...

After the paint dried, we glued eyes and feathers on...

Then it was time to do our Thanksgiving lunch. This year I did not do all the side dishes like I have in the past- it is simply too much food for the kids. Our simple meal was turkey, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, rolls, and pumpkin bars.
I am thankful for these guys.