I don't want to be fat anymore...

Tonight at the gym I came the closest I have ever been to a panic attack. I am "training" for a 5k that is coming up in a month, I am signed up to run a 2 mile course next week, and I am 5 lbs away from being under 200lbs. Can you say overwhelmed? While running, I had a lot of time to think.

I don't want to be fat anymore.

I have lived all of my life overweight- it has always been a great life- but an unhealthy one. I was happy being over weight. It wasn't until I started to loose weight that I noticed that maybe I should have cared more when I was a size 24.

Meal planning, food tracking, and working out is my life. Even when I hit my "goal" weight, it will still be my life. I owe that to my husband and my peanuts. It is unfair to them to be a bad role model.

I don't want to be fat anymore.

At what point will I look at myself and say, "wow, I am not fat"? I see that my body is changing, I see that I shop for smaller clothing, and I like how I am looking however I still have so far to go. At what point do I give myself credit for losing 68 pounds in over a year... ( taking some time off in between to have Kendal)

I don't want to be fat anymore.

I like having this challenge... of running a 5k, working out, having a balanced life of God, family, friends, and me time. It works for me. I thrive on it. But, I don't want to be fat any more.

So, as overwhelmed as I am right now in my weight loss journey... I am pushing myself and hopefully motivating others too! I don't open my life up to brag or seek praise for my progress, I open up to share how important it is to live a healthy and happy life. If I can make time to eat, track, workout, hold a job, have a social life, be a mom of 4, and a wife for 11 years of marriage- You... can... too! You have to overcome the mental battle before overcoming physical ones.