more randoms...

So, I can honestly say I am excited for January to come to an end. As stressful as the holidays are to most, January is my stressful month too. Most of you know we celebrate Kadyn's birthday on the 17th, Kendal's on the 18th, and Dustin's on the 20th. We normally combine them all and do a family gathering then a friend party for the kids. We have had some type of celebration or party the the last 3 weekends. So, I am looking forward to our birthday month winding down. I am grateful for the people we are celebrating but this momma is done for a while... August, in fact! ;)

I am addicted to working out! I love it, I love how I feel when doing it, how I feel after, and seeing the results of my body from all the hard work. I am at a point thought I need to figure out what avenue I want to stick with for a while. Right now I have Jazzercise, the gym, and Weight Watchers. And, on the days I don't have time for any of the above, I have a DVD at home. This is my month to figure it all out. By the end of February, 2 things will be gone from my routine. I love Jazz class, my friends I see, and the music. I just seem to miss the classes and haven't made it priority this year. At best I have been making 1-2 classes a week. The gym is awesome, I have set goals for running and the elliptical. I see the calories as I am burning and watch the clock to beat my personal records. Tonight I beat my old time, I did 3 miles on the elliptical in 35 minutes, and that was even stopping to allow my knee rest. Weight Watchers is great for my food accountability and the meetings are really keeping me honest about my food intake. Like I said before, I hope to be programmed enough that after I hit 199, I won't NEED the meetings- this will all be seconded nature. Well see what I come up with soon!!! Losing weight does not come easy, that is for sure!

I love honey crisp apples. I just bought 6 of them and it was over 8.00 for them. Sheesh! These are by far worth it but man they can drain my budget! But, I find if I eat one of these apples before my meal, I am so less hungry and they are so tasty! Haven't had a bad apple yet from this brand. Just can't wait until summer when they come down in price a little.

I am excited for our date night this week... Dustin and I are hitting the gym to meet with a personal trainer! We are getting fitness plans and learning more about the weight machines. And, we get to go together! Can't wait!!!

This week has been an emotional week for sure. I miss my mom. No, she isn't dead and she still lives with us. I don't know how to explain it really, but I miss how she was before her stroke. I think back 5 years and wonder where I would be at if this life changing event wouldn't have happened? So many good things have come from this situation but I still long for the days when she wasn't disabled. Does that make any sense at all? I miss her having grandma days with Gaby and Kadyn, I miss her going with me to scrapbook, I miss my kids going to her for daycare, I miss calling her every night before I went to bed to say good night, I just miss the
good ol' days with her. And, not that the present days are not filled with happy memories, they are just different then before. She isn't my same mom and most days I am okay with that but some times I am emotional about that! I still have so many blessings and my girls love growing up having grandma living with us. I praise God that He spared her life when she had this stroke.

My grandma was put into a nursing home today. This was an another emotional change. My grandma and I were very close when she lived in Topeka. When my mom was recovering from her stroke, my grandma and I had many long conversations and see always would call or drive by to check in on me and my family! She is 93 years old and a believer of Jesus. This was one thing that was very apparent about my grandma. She has always had a direct line to Jesus for for sure!!! She moved to KC a few years back to assisted living. She needed this. My grandma needed some help and meals. This was a good move for her. She was starting to forget things and starting to forget people. This has been hard to watch. She has dementia. The last year it has gotten extremely bad. My grandma would need a run down of how many kids I had, who my husband was, and basic family info. She has certainly brought some fun and interesting conversations to the table the last few family gatherings. Again, I feel like I am loosing her like I lost a part of my mom. They are still here but not as themselves. So hard to explain but I hope you get where I am trying to go. The person who can't remember my name is not my grandma who called me and gave me the best advice ever when coping with my mom. It's just not the same, and one of the things I will miss the most is living across the parking lot in our 4 bedroom apartments when Dustin and I were first starting out family.

My husband is just great! I really don't know how else to say it. Today I just needed a break from things. The kids, the house, chores everything. So, after we were done running the girls to soccer, dance ect. he fixed lunch as I ran errands. I had planned on taking the girls with me but it was nice getting away, doing what I needed to do, and come home refreshed. Gaby, Kadyn and I even ran/walked 3 miles this evening and it was perfect. To end the crazy day, we ordered pizza, and I went to the gym. It was a much needed break and I am thankful that my husband supports me when I need to be a way for a little while. Then I talked to my dad and got the news about my grandma, I broke down after this conversation. Dustin was there, just to hold me and be my rock. He can't fix anything but he knew how to make the situation better. I love this man. More then words can explain. We have been through so much in our 10 years of marriage and he never ever complains. He is my rock and I love him for everything he is, everything he wants to be, and just for him being here for me today!! He even got all the kids in bed while I took a long hot bath- can I just admire him for a while?

Wow- this post is deep. I really hate that but I feel like I needed to put it out there. I am only human, I have rough and emotional days, and need breaks just like everyone else too!

On a lighter note- I am looking forward to the personal trainer date night! Soon, I will be calling on all you people that say, " I'll watch the girls so you and Dustin can go out" and getting a real date night on the calendar! Just thinking of planning this makes me smile. I love me some hubby time.

I bought 2 huge boxes of diapers for 30.00 online- I was so excited and it has free shipping. I hope to stay organized enough to keep doing this until I get these last 2 kids out of diapers!

Mia starts dance classed this week... I can't wait! She is needing something that is just for her- I hope she will do good. She certainly looked cute in her ballet shoes and outfit I tried on her today!

I am so uper excited to be surrounded by people that are taking control of their weight loss journey too! I feel like I have a healthy support system and I am so proud of the updates and progress everyone is making.

I bought 2 new pairs of shoes for me today- like cute ones that are not exercise shoes. It is BOGO at payless and found 2 that just made me smile! I will be sporting one pair tomorrow at church! Love shoes!

Well, I am ready to sign off (sorry for all the typos and bad grammar not taking time to re-read)... cuddle with my hubs, and count my blessings, and Praise God for all that He has given me... I will end with words from a song from one of my favorite TV shows growing up, "You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and then you have the facts of life".