lots of changes...

the final frontier...

You all knew it was coming. My post about Gaby and Kadyn going to school. I can proudly say, I have not cried the entire day. I think the days leading up to today have been more hard on me then today. Does that even make sense?

I woke up once last night at 3am to feed Kendal and at that point I did not feel good, I had a headache and my body felt tense. I started thinking about how today would play out in my mind. Would Gaby be cranky because she had to get up early or would she let me fix her hair? Would Kadyn embrace this huge day for her or would she become reserved as she does in new situations? All these thoughts were just racing in my head. I finally went back to bed and started thinking of a song we sang in church on Sunday. Thinking of the tune put me at ease. I no longer had the headache and I felt more relaxed then I have in a week. Knowing the Perfect Parent is watching over Gaby and Kadyn today is such a relief!

Going to the bus stop... I love this picture. This pretty much sums up Gaby and Kadyn's relationship. For the most part, K and G get along well and act like great friends. I think Gaby was happy to show Kadyn the ropes and Kadyn was happy Gaby was there with her!

I have seen a lot of this smile as of late. This girl is so proud to be going to school, ride the bus, and pretty much take on the world. Kadyn has been home with me since she was 5mo. old. For better or for worse, I have been her mom and her teacher. Last year she started SHES as a peer model for their preschool.This program was only half days and gave me a great transition to getting used to her going to school. I think this will help her as well since she knows her way around the building, knows some of the teachers, and knows Gaby is there too.

Gaby was excited to enter the world of 3rd grade. Grandma Dee called to wish them a good day, and I over heard, " It will be good, I am in 3rd grade now". She wants everyone to know. Gaby was up and in a great mood by 630am. ( We set alarms early so I can get them ready before the busyness of daycare starts). We settled on low pig tales for the hair and she chose what her outfit was going to be! Gaby is always a big help during the summer and someone fun to carry on a conversation.

Now, I said I didn't cry... I can not say that about Mia. After the girls loaded the bus, Mia started crying. She asked daddy, "where Gaby, where KK?". This had to be the most heartbreaking scene of the entire morning. Even though the girls have been gone for hours now, she still checked all the rooms in the house several times asking for her sisters. I think Mia is taking it harder then I am!

I won't lie, I am missing my girls dearly. I know this has to happen, it is a milestone just as learning to walk, or talk, or to read. I feel like I am now sharing my children with someone else, their teachers. I am now relaying on others to make sure they are making good choices, being responsible, not dropping their lunch tray, being a good friend, listening, and having a good time.

I have thought about Gaby and Kadyn a million and one times today. I feel like something is missing from my day. I miss talking to Gaby, I miss having Kadyn running around in her Hello Kitty PJ's at 2pm, I miss their laughing. I miss hearing Gaby reading to the little ones, I miss the back door opening and closing from them coming in and out all the time, and most of all I miss them.
At times, I feel like Mia. I go looking around the house to see if they are there. It is just different not to have them still around. It is hard not to be sad when I have so much love for these girls. But at the same time, it is hard not to be so excited for them as they are starting yet another school year of adventures.