I am starting to buy odd and ends for our newest addition, Quentin Neal. It seems so real that his time is coming and we will celebrate his arrival into this world. He is already loved even though he isn't even here. His sisters are always talking about him, he is very active in my stomach, and I am getting excited at the thought of bringing home our fifth child.
Even though we are starting over with infant stuff and boy clothing I am trying to be smart with my purchases. I have been picking up things on a FB page, "Selling with Friends" where I purchase these next to new shoes and adorable shirt. It is still hard for me to buy boy items. In so many way, our last child being a boy is a blessing. I always worry how Kendal will react since she has been the youngest for 3 1/2 years. However she is still my youngest, our baby, our last little girl. And, I am okay with that!
Tomorrow marks 26 weeks. I feel okay. I am tired, emotional, and still throwing up most mornings. I am so thankful for what Dustin has been doing. He has taken on most of the meals and some house clean up. I get through our work day and activities but after that I am spent. I can not say enough thanks to my hubs for everything he is doing to make sure we are functioning during this pregnancy. He is certainly my rock.
We are getting ready to celebrate life, buy car seats, plan showers, and give thanks God for this little creature. And while I get ready to welcome this little creature, I prepare myself to say good by to a life that is worth celebrating as well.
My grandma is dying and ready to meet our Savior soon. It is such a bittersweet thought to me. She is 96 years old and has lived a full life. She has taught me many life lessons that I will remember for ever. She and my grandfather (who passed when I was in HS) were role models of what marriage should look like. She showed me what I want Dustin and I's marriage to look like. When Dustin and I were first married, she commented, "if you and Dustin ever divorce, It'll be all your fault". To this day, I still believe this comment. She saw something in Dustin, she saw my grandpa in him. I see it too. I will work hard every day to be a serving wife as she was to my grandpa.
My grandma is a Jesus Fan. I always tease that my grandma has a red hotline phone to God's ear. I grew up watching her attend church every week, be involved, and love God with all of her heart! I strive to be like her. I want that relationship with our God as well. After my mom had her stroke, I had many conversations with my grandma, and she knew my mom was going to be okay. I couldn't see it or believe how things would ever be okay, but she was my solid ground and she kept the faith when I couldn't.
Until she moved to KC a few years back ( she needed to downsize, be on one level, and have some type of care), I have never lived more then 5-8 minutes away from her. When Dustin and I were just married and had Gaby, we lived in the same townhouse complex, the same block even. It was nice to have her so close. We would walk over and sit on her porch many spring and summer nights and watch Gaby play.
Her time is here, to say good bye and to remember her life, which we are celebrating. My grandma hasn't eaten in 6 days and her body is shutting down. I saw her Wednesday night to say our last words. It was hard to do but I am ready for her to meet Jesus. I am ready for her to be with Grandpa, the love of her life, again. It's time.
It's amazing to me how we celebrate life and death. And this year our family will be doing both. Please keep our family in your thoughts and prayers as our family loses an amazing woman! God's gain but our loss. Our hearts will be sad but she'll be in heaven celebrating!